2 posts tagged “buttercream”
enjoy a summer for once. After 17 years, buttercream and bridezillas have taken their toll, and I'm throwin' in the ol'
spatula. Hmmmmm......note to self......"Buttercream and Bridezillas" is a GREAT title for my memoirs!
Well, how about........
- being chained down every wedding season, mostly on weekends, so that it's impossible to take a vacation with my schoolteacher husband (who, of course, has summers off).
- consultations with brides and their mothers who obviously have not agreed on anything and have decided to fight over the wedding cake and expect me to act like Dr. Phil.
- brides who can't tell me what they want and don't like anything I show them.
- having to follow what's trendy, and being given pictures of cakes other designers have done so I can copy them, rather than doing my own design (which, most likely would kick some serious ass). I swear if I have to do another swiss dot, or Martha Stewart monogram cake, I will commmit "ishy squishy" (bakers lingo for death by spatula).
- spending hours, even days, on one single cake, knowing that in a short time all my beautiful work will be sliced up, plated, consumed, and mostly forgotten about. I remember one day in pastry school I was spending WAY too long on a cake, and my pastry instructor winked at me and said, "You know, think about it.....whether you spend 3 minutes or 3 hours on a cake, they all come out the same in the end anyway." I've never forgotten that. Gives one perspective.
- being typecast. I've always been really good at doing cakes, so that's what I ended up doing at virtually every place I've worked. I love doing cakes, but I love the other stuff too! It's like Bob Denver will always be Gilligan (RIP Gilligan). I don't wanna be Gilligan. I wanna be like Meryl Streep and play all sorts of interesting parts.
- wedding cake deliveries. Even if you know what you're doing, once the cake leaves the shop, it is victim to environment and circumstances beyond your control. Super hot days when even the air conditioning in the delivery van can't stave off the temperatures of a long trip in traffic. Children under your feet as you struggle to carry the heavy box to the cake table which happens to be in direct sunlight outside (sigh), making arrangements with the bride that I will arrange the flowers on her cake, and she will have them there for me, and they're not, and I have another delivery across town in an hour......drivers who tailgate and honk at me as I take corners very carefully....no, I don't really care to sweat out any more wedding cake deliveries. And, since I'm more out of shape than I used to be (see my previous post) I'm far more prone to a heart attack. Gotta think about my health ya know.
I'll still do specialty cakes, birthdays, fun stuff like that. I'm hoping to make the time to enter a few competitions too.
The local gingerbread house contest, and even perhaps the Oklahoma Sugar Arts Show.
But please, for the love of GOD, do not even bring me a Martha Stewart magazine or mention her name, or I'll be more than happy to show you what the door looks like..........as it's closing behind you.
See? Told ya it was the "Year of the Bitch".
to my 15 minutes of fame. I believe I've used up maybe 5 minutes so far. I calculate I have 9 minutes and 58 seconds more to go. That's just enough for a segment on "Dateline". Oh, but wait, to get on "Dateline" I have to
either form a bizarre plot to kill my husband, or troll for underage boys and girls in chat rooms. Nah, forget "Dateline".
How about a spot on the "Jerry Springer Show"? Then I get to bring whomever I want and beat them up. I could go for 9 minutes and 58 seconds of that.
But I digress.
This recent two seconds of fame is attributed to my latest cake project. As per usual, I didn't get paid to do it. It was a donation to an auction to raise funds for the Jefferson County Historical Society. I donated my services to create a celebration cake for the grand re-opening of Port Townsend, Washington's historic city hall. Originally they wanted me to re-create the building in cake, but I didn't have the space, the refrigeration, or quite that much time to do a replica of the building. So I designed a tiered cake, in the popular crooked whimsical fashion, that represented the best parts of the interior and exterior of city hall. The top and bottom tiers represent the best of the outside of the building, and the middle tier represents the brand new carpeting installed in the interior. The thing that looks like a satellite antenna on the top is a representation of some beautiful railing work done by the late great blacksmith/artist Russell Jacqua.
Not sure how much time I spent on this thing, but it was a lot of time. I started the project at the beginning of September and completed little tasks in between all my other responsibilities that related to domestic engineering and my outside cookie baking job (of which I no longer have-Thanks Heidi!!!). I was asked how many hours it took me.
I didn't count. I honestly don't know. Maybe 100? Maybe more....maybe less. Here's a picture. I added the pigeons and the seagull at the last minute at the suggestion of my husband.....brilliant!
The inside of the cake was an amazing chocolate stout cake with a hazelnut praline buttercream filling. The chocolate stout cake is definitely the best chocolate cake ever. Yes, it's made with stout beer, and no, the cake does not taste like beer. It tastes like wonderful moist dark chocolate. It rocks! Want the recipe? Go here.
