2 posts tagged “garth”
When I get home from a long day at the bakery, where I've been on my feet all day, I just want to sit my ass DOWN.
After I get my dose of the TV News, I usually plunk myself down in front of the computer, check my email, post on
eGullet and Cheftalk, see what that latest is on Britney (can't help myself, as I said in my previous post, I love trainwrecks), and then play around with my favorite computer program, Adobe Photoshop. Before I was a pastry chef, I was a geek, and I'm still a geek. I used to be very quiet about my geekness, but now I'm proud, especially when we have movies that get sympathy for our cause, like "Revenge of the Nerds". Then of course, there's Bill Gates. The nerd you make fun of today, could possibly own you tomorrow! All hail Bill! Of course I'm not saying that because Bill and my brother look strangely alike. No, not at all.
Anyway, I indulge my inner geekness after a long day of swimming in butter eggs, and flour. Here's my latest Photoshop project, in which I have inserted my face into a picture on the front of an old Hamilton Beach Mixer user's manual. Added some rats, and changed a little wording and you have yet another example of expressive art created by, yes, a burned out pastry chef. I've stayed on the "bitch theme" because well, I'm still on a diet.
Do I need professional help? You betcha. But computer art therapy is much cheaper.
Ok, really I'm not sure about this blogging thing. I mean, I think the picture over there explains it all. I'm just another monkey. Plus there's the whole narcissistic thing about it. I've never been one to toot my own horn, as I've always preferred to blend into the woodwork, or in the case of my home, the bad paneling.
So why am I doing it? Ok, here's why:
I'm just kidding! Sort of. Since apparently, I am STILL talking about myself, here's some other trivia:
So why am I doing it? Ok, here's why:
- To let off "steam", but without intentionally offending people. So please note, if you're offended by anything in this blog, it's unintentional! Which makes me perpetually innocent.
- To entertain my repressed fantasy of being a humor columnist. All hail Dave Barry!
- To let folks who encounter all my various posts on food, pastry, cake decorating and baking forums, get some insight on the real me, and whether they should take my advice seriously. Yes, you should take my advice seriously, because although I spew a lot of crap, when it comes to my profession, I'm just a little too serious. Maybe "wound too tightly" as some people have put it. The words "anal-retentive" and "obsessive-compulsive" have all been words frequently used to describe me, along with other fun hyphenated words like "manic-depressive" and "passive-agressive".
- I've always wanted to be a monkey.
I'm just kidding! Sort of. Since apparently, I am STILL talking about myself, here's some other trivia:
- I'm 44 years old, but I look 43.
- I'm a natural redhead, but I color my hair to cover the lice.
- I struggle with my weight, but never step on the scale (hey, it's just a number!) Does this blog make my writing look fat?
- I am half Dutch (mom's side) and from my dad's side, a quarter Swedish, and an eighth Scottish, and an eighth Irish. This explains the red hair, a preference for bland food and potatoes, and the inability to put up with crap. Yes, to me, mild salsa is WAY TOO SPICY!
- I have a thing about memorabilia that comes from the mid 40's to the 70's. Bad cookbooks. Any appliance with the word "Luxe" in it. Cocktail culture. If I could dress like June Cleaver every day, I would, but I need to get a waist first. And it's kind of hard to walk in the Northwest mud in high heels. Here's one of my favorite retro web sites! Lileks.com!
- I have one brilliant red-headed brother named Garth who runs his own business, Rubber Chicken Software. He got the brains in the family.....I got the......hey! What did I get?
- I will always be a pastry chef, even when I'm not a pastry chef. You can take the girl out of the kitchen, but you can't take the kitchen out of the girl!
- I have a thing about recycling and reusing things. I can't stand waste. I moderate a local group that's part of a nationwide movement, called Freecycle. My local group is called Jefferson County Freecycle. It's a great way to help the community and the environment and meet your neighbors!
- I have an awesome husband and a great stepson, although they still tease me about the time I tried to name all 7 continents and I thought one of them was Hawaii. Ok, shut UP! I don't know EVERYTHING ok? I can tell you everything about pastry, just don't ask me about continents. Or geography. Or math, or history, or physics. Or anything else that really matters and might help you win on Jeopardy.
- I really don't blab this much. Normally, I'm blending into the paneling.
